Born beneath a vending machine behind a failing Borders bookstore, Andy Antalytics always knew he was meant for more than crumbs and spilled soda.
From a young age, Andy demonstrated an unusual gift: the ability to detect patterns in the smallest of things—crumpled receipts, browser history, Goodreads reviews left at 3:14 a.m.
Andy began his career in metrics by organizing sugar cube logistics for a midsize colony in New Jersey. He quickly rose through the ranks, eventually being named Chief Analyst of Tunneling Efficiency and Crumb Density Optimization.
But spreadsheets were never enough. Andy wanted to understand human stories, their erratic purchasing behaviors, their overwhelming love for dogs, and their strange tendency to abandon carts at the last moment.
In 2016, Andy joined Booktrovert.org after crawling across three states and a WordPress server outage. He took over the site's backend analytics, newsletter click tracking, and emotional temperature monitoring.
Today, he runs campaigns from a subterranean data nest beneath the site, where he whispers metrics into the void and tracks every click with a weary heart.
He may be small. He may be doomed. But he is watching. And he cares about your conversion rate more than anyone else ever could.